|what not to knit
||[Mar. 4th, 2007|02:34 pm]
|||||Mark Lanegan & Isobel Campbell, "Ballad of the Broken Seas"||]|
I finally made my way over to the winter Knitty, which I'd forgotten would be out, and there are a few things on there I'm definitely going to attempt, but dude: this is the sort of thing that makes me sorry that You Knit What?? is defunct. Observe the layers of crazy:
1. Swinging your coffee cup around on a handbag handle is going to cause major spillage. Especially a stretchy garter-stitch handle like that one.
2. There's no bottom support for the cup, and it doesn't even taper all the way down. The weight of the cup and the stretchiness of the stitch are going to yank it right on down out of there, leaving the lid caught in the "slingshot." The reason the corrugated cardboard "sleeves" work is because the cardboard isn't stretchy and because they go further down, tapering with the shape of the cup so that the cup can't slip down through.
3. Speaking of the corrugated cardboard sleeves, what's wrong with them, exactly?
4. If you absolutely must knit some fancy reusable cup sleeve, it needs to be the same shape as the perfectly good and functional cardboard ones-- encompassing a good percentage of the actual cup, tapered, grippable, not with a swingy handle above-- and an equally stable composition. Either felted wool, or hemp, or some really, really sturdy double-reinforced stitch. Not simple stockinette in sock wool, which is designed to be stretchy to go easily on and off of the human foot, not to retain a reliable grip on the human paper coffee cup.
5. It's, and this is obviously just my personal opinion, funny-looking. This is equally pointless, really, but it's also so cute that I briefly considered knitting one, despite the pointlessness and my very happy ownership of a Mr. Bento (thanks again for that, polyhymnia!). The "slingshot" thing is not cute; it's just funny-looking and obviously unfunctional, and even the example photograph looks amateurish and messily handmade.
6. Quoi with the name? I don't really want the contraption entrusted with the transportation of my hot liquids to be named after a projectile launcher.
Ah well. I'm swatching for this right now. I had a thermal shirt once that I literally wore until it fell apart, and I've never found another one that I liked as much, so maybe this one.